My name is Kate, Katie or Katherine, depending on the context in which you meet me. I am 29 years old, single, and just moved to be with my one true love — Washington, DC. My grown-up life is at once exactly like and nothing like how I pictured it as a ten-year old kid.

I grew up in Wisconsin and spent four wonderful years in Madison at the University of Wisconsin. I remember a combined total of three of them, which I think is pretty good. I continued my tour of the Midwest, going to grad school in Bloomington, Indiana. After receiving all the education my little brain could handle (or, more precisely, after exhausting all the financial aid resources Uncle Sam was willing to provide me), I moved to the one place I knew I’d love forever and never leave.

Then, after almost three years in DC, I, like an idiot, moved to California. Ok, so the move was for very good, career-promoting, unique experience, blah blah blah reasons, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. But still: It’s. Not. DC. As God is my witness, I willGlory hallelujah, I live on the East Coast again!

I have a job. They pay me real cash money. I would like to keep it that way. That’s about all I have to say about that. I mean, I can’t very well sell nuclear weapon secrets to the Chinese if I tell you about them first – their value on the black market would tank!

If you haven’t figured it out by now, you should know that I’m quite sarcastic and love dry, ironic wit, like that of Mr. Wilde. Few things that happen to us in life can fairly be classified as “tragic,” but life is full of daily tragedies – episodes that seem so important in the moment, but quickly fade from memory as the days pass. I fully expect to read my archives a year from now and be surprised at what I found compelling enough to write about. Most of it will probably rise to the level of “background noise.”

I never set out to be a writer. I don’t view this blog as self-publishing, though I think it’s great if that model works for other people. Actually, I much prefer talking to writing, but there aren’t enough hours in the day, nor does my current cell phone plan provide enough daytime minutes, for me to keep up with everyone by phone. This blog is a much more efficient way to keep everyone up-to-date on my (mis)adventures. Sometimes this blog serves as a substitute for therapy. Those are the posts on which no one comments.

If I had to describe myself in one word, it would be “impatient,” but it’s much more complicated than that. I don’t mean the foot-tapping, gum-chewing, hand-on-hip, hurry-up sort of impatience one typically pictures, but more of a deep churning, rumbling, constant-movement-below-the-surface, like a hot tub with no “off” switch. I almost always know what I want to do next in life, and much of my efforts are directed toward making that next step happen. On my timeline. This often means I do things the hard way. Or the torture-myself-
doing-things-my-way-until-the-Universe-finally-gets-its-way way.

(Universe: Mwah ha ha ha ha. Will she ever learn???
Me: No. I continue to delude myself that My Timeline means anything.)

Example: I started narrowing down my college choices in the fall of my sophomore year of high school. Did I need to have this decision made quickly because I was graduating a year early? No. Did I apply early decision anywhere, necessitating a short-list by the end of junior year? Oh no, I applied to schools late fall/winter/early spring of senior year, just like everyone else. In some cases, later than everyone else – I procrastinated on some of the applications because I didn’t want to write the stupid financial aid essays and just barely got them postmarked in time. But I had to start the process of sifting and winnowing at roughly the same time it was evident I was going to college. At age 14.

I know, people, I know. But no amount of therapy is going to cure me of something that is this hard-wired.

While I wait for Life to catch up with what’s going on inside my head, I busy myself with things I have a modicum of control over, like 17,000 extra-curricular activities. I’m often mistaken for an over-achieving perfectionist, but really, I’m not one. Rather, I need to have eleventy billion balls in the air to distract me from whatever isn’t happening in my life. Helps keep me sane. As does wine.

I ran my first half marathon in May 2007 and another one in October because I am a special kind of idiot. My dedication to running has not fared well in this move back to DC, but finally getting settled and the coming of spring weather should help.

Other Random Things You Should Know About Me:

• I’m an NPR junkie.
• Also, C-SPAN and C-SPAN2. Really.
• Despite my quality education, highbrow news sources, and having grown up in the Midwest, I have a tendency, like, to totally talk like a Valley Girl. Ya know?
• I’m working on that one.
• For some reason I find the word “fuck” the most descriptive and useful of all the swear words, and therefore use it often.
• This is unfortunate because most people find it the harshest and most offensive of all the swear words, and therefore do not enjoy hearing me use it often.
• I have a thing for numbers.
• And sports metaphors.
• I absolutely love hyphen-filled modifiers. You’ll have to watch for those. I should trademark them or something and become filthy rich! (Except that I’m probably the only one who uses them.)
• I have a tendency to write really insanely long sentences, often aided by the hyphen-filled modifiers.
• Followed by short ones. That aren’t technically sentences so much as dependent clauses.
• I can be a little bit of a princess sometimes.
• But usually I’m pretty mature and level-headed about things. Sometimes it’s disturbing.
• Also, I’m the teensiest bit of a control freak. No, really, I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s true.
• And anal. It’s not like I’m compulsive or anything, but I do like things to be neat, orderly, done a certain way… (I can’t believe I used bullets instead of numbers for this list, because I have no idea how many items there are here. Whee! Look at me throwing caution to the wind and living with the uncertainty!!! But it would annoy me if there were some strange number of items, like 38 or something. Lack of information is actually better on this one.)
• I work out in the morning. By choice. These days I run in the evening, because the sun doesn’t come up early enough for me to run outside in the morning and still get to work at a reasonable hour. Instead, I get to my desk at 6:30 AM so I can leave by 5:00.
• I have a mild obsession with footwear. Particularly of the three-inch stiletto heel variety.
• Also, with perfectly-shaped eyebrows.
• I’m rather sacrilegious. But not just about religion. Actually, about pretty much everything.
• I am a member of the Junior League. And I volunteered on Howard Dean’s 2004 presidential campaign. Which makes me, in the words of an ex-boyfriend, a pinko-commie-liberal-conservative-Southern-belle.
• Speaking of the South…prolonged exposure as a child (and as a grown-up) have caused such phrases as “sweet tea,” “oh mah word,” and “darlin’” to creep into my vocabulary, complete with a soft, lilting accent.
• I am the Efficiency Queen. If there’s a faster, more direct way to do something, I’ve probably already identified it.
• I may be a little competitive sometimes. Ok, most of the time.
• Sarcasm is my primary form of communication. It’s so inherent that it took me this long to add it to the list. Sad, just sad.
• I’m a wee bit particular about grammar. So, if the phrases “also, too…,” “besides,” or “between the three of us…,” please, I beg of you: Stop. Just stop.
• I am a much better parallel parker on the left side of the street than the right. No, I have no idea why this is.