June 3, 2009 | Filed under: I Write About My Feelings, The Fam
I was awake for ten minutes before I started crying. I think that warrants some kind of medal.
My dad had a heart attack yesterday. I”m getting on a plane in a few hours to fly back to Wisconsin. I booked a return flight so far into the future that I’ll run out of vacation days and sick days if I actually stay there that long, but I have absolutely no idea how long it’s going to take, and I was on the brink of a meltdown staring at Northwest’s website trying to figure it out.
On top of the logistical challenge of being 700 miles away and therefore having to get on a plane, rather than jump in the car and drive home, is the extra tasty mega-scoop of Catholic guilt because I, being an asshole who’s too much of a bigshot to check her personal cell for messages or have her siblings’ numbers programmed into her work phone, was completely in the dark for most of the day yesterday. (The first message is from my mother at 6:15 AM. Nobody heard from me until 4:30 PM when I saw a text on my BlackBerry from a number I vaguely recognized as my brother’s saying to call ASAP. So I did. I then realized that some of the missed calls shown on my phone were from my sister. Nice.)
I don’t really know what’s going on, as far as a diagnosis goes. Neither do the doctors. Dad is in ICU in a stable, intentionally-sedated state. Later today they’ll bring him out of the sedation and make decisions about what happens next. I’m trying to focus on the likely “nexts,” like another surgery, but I cannot rule out the possibility that he could die. All of this is not fair, not fair, not fair. We just talked last weekend about his last visit to the cardiologist, wherein he was declared 100% recovered from the triple bypass surgery he had last fall (without a heart attack), all the numbers look good, come back and see me in a year.
Or, have a heart attack next week. That’s cool, too.
I was not prepared for this. Duh, I know, nobody ever is, but having spent the last 18 years knowing he would likely have a heart attack some day, the surgery-sans-heart attack and all-clear from the doctor really lulled me into thinking I wouldn’t have to deal with this particular event for oh, ten or fifteen years. Or never. I was really OK with never. Not fair.
Posted by Daily Tragedies @ 4:45 am | Make a Comment
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K–> All my prayers with you! What an awful shock! If you just need to vent, call. Keep us all updated and let me know if anything I can do. Love you!
I’ve spent this week in Cardiac ICU with my grandpa. He was in the Dr’s office Fri. & getting the “all clear” when he had a heart attack. He is doing great post surgery.
Wish your dad a speedy recovery. Hugs and good thoughts across the miles.
June 3rd, 2009 at 10:34 amKate,
CLK sent me the blog and info on your dad. I am sorry to hear about this unexpected news. I’m glad you’ll be home with your family and hope you know you are being thought of from all over the country.
Good thoughts for you and all your family during this tough time.
June 3rd, 2009 at 11:16 amMy thoughts and prayers are with you and family.
June 3rd, 2009 at 5:40 pmIf you need somebody to hold the Universe down for you, I’m your girl.
June 3rd, 2009 at 10:02 pmI am so sorry to hear about your Dad! Our thoughts are with you and we wish him a speedy recovery.
June 4th, 2009 at 11:12 amSo sorry Katie! Love you and hang in there. Call if you need anything at all!
June 9th, 2009 at 9:32 am