April 29, 2008 | Filed under: Is She Still Talking?
I go to a co-worker’s office for a quick chat at the end of the day. Music is blaring from his computer.
Co-worker: We can have this conversation while I choose work-out music, right?
Me: Yeah, sure. This is work-out music?
Him: No, way too mellow. But I like it.
Me: Definitely not up-tempo enough. Wait! I know this song!
Him: It’s Colin Hay.
Me: ?
Him: From Men at Work.
Me: Hm.
Him: It’s on the Scrubs soundtrack.
Me: That’s it! I mean, I don’t have the soundtrack, but that’s where I know the song from — my Scrubs habit!
* * * * *
Me, on the phone with my father: So, can I install cabinet knobs myself?
Dad: Sure, all you need is a screwdriver.
Me: Oh no, not changing the cabinet knobs — I’m sure I am capable of CHANGING the knobs, jeez. There are no knobs, I have to put in brand new ones, like by drilling holes and everything. I have a drill. My question was really, does it take some special skill and will it drive me nuts if all the knobs don’t line up perfectly?
Dad: Well of course it will, cuz you’re just as anal as I am!
Me: Great.
Dad: Why don’t you just wait until we visit.
Me: OK, then you and I can install cabinet knobs and Mom will go for a nice loooooong walk, somewhere far, far away.
* * * * *
Different male co-worker: Oh! Your name came up in conversation over the weekend.
Me: Um, do I really want to know?
Him: We were talking about people who look like Republicans.
Me: Yeah, I get that a lot.
* * * * *
On the phone with Lori, where we’ve just spent a good ten minutes discussing an apparently local murderer.
Me: blah blah blah
Lori: Oh dear, I just –
*strange clicking noises coming from phone*
Me: Um, hello?
*call clearly disconnected*
The conversation resumed,
Me: Were you being attacked by a knife-wielding stranger? All I heard was, “Oh dear,” then the line went dead.
Lori: I hope, if that were the case, that the first words out of my mouth would not be, “Oh dear.”
Me: Good point. But you can’t really say, “I’m being attacked by a knife-wielding stranger! Call the police!” without fearing that you’ll further provoke him. We should have some sort of signal.
Lori: We need a code word.
Me: Yes!
Lori: I know — [redacted]!
(What, you think I’m going to tell the entire internet our code word?? Think again.)
Posted by Daily Tragedies @ 10:38 pm | Make a Comment
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Oh no! I DON’T REMEMBER THE CODE WORD! Wait..got it. That doesn’t bode well for an actual knife-wielding maniac situation though. Oh dear.
April 29th, 2008 at 10:47 pmGood idea with the code word! I undoubtably would forget it and just shout S**T
April 30th, 2008 at 10:39 amWhat does a republican look like?
As for a code word in case of attack by a knifewielding psychopath, it is hard to speak when your head is dangling by a………..never mind.
“shit” sounds fine to me.
May 12th, 2008 at 7:08 pm[...] In an odd juxtaposition, I also managed to feel nineteen again. That was the summer that I pierced my bellybutton. Yes, really. It continues to be a source of curiosity, especially among the Junior League crowd. (I love the ice-breaker game “Two truths and a lie” because the declaration the I have a belly ring is almost always mis-identified as the lie.) Yesterday I discovered I needed a new bead for the center of the ring, which makes sense as I don’t think I’ve done anything with it in eight years. In a stroke of brilliance, I realized that this errand was probably easier accomplished in an alternative college town such as this, rather than downtown DC. Which is how I came to be standing in front of the counter at a bustling tattoo/piercing establishment in the middle of the Berkeley shopping district, feeling every bit as uncertain as I did when I first got the piercing. I just don’t fit the mold of the average customer at these places, and it shows. [...]
August 6th, 2008 at 2:22 pm