November 20, 2007 | Filed under: I'm a Dork
I bit it today.
On second thought, that’s not really accurate.
Despite it being a crazy busy day, I dashed to Chipotle for lunch, because the proceeds from today’s sales go to the Sacramento Food Bank. I support anti-hunger causes — I’m running in the food bank’s race on Thursday — and besides, does anyone really need an excuse to go to Chipotle? I didn’t think so.
So I hop out of the car and somewhere along the fifteen feet between my car door and the restaurant door, I forget how to walk. Look, I’ve tripped and fallen a number of times in my life, and even though I try to keep such events to a minimum, I must admit that I’m almost accustomed to them. This, however, was nothing short of an all-out face-plant, reminiscent of a wide receiver laying out to catch a pass in the end zone, arms and legs extended, torso parallel to the ground. (Like so.)
I’ll give you a minute to stop laughing.
Best I can tell, the heel of one shoe got caught on the cuff of my other pant leg. Next thing I know, I’m catching a pass from Brett Favre. Only, truth be told, I dropped my car keys on impact and they went skidding another foot across the brick sidewalk in front of me. I also lost a shoe and my sunglasses in the transaction. You just can’t teach these moves.
(As a woman, I feel I am entirely within my rights to blame these things on the shoes. Deep down, though, I know it’s rarely the shoes’ fault.)
It must have looked spectacularly bad, because the two guys enjoying their burritos on the patio were REALLY concerned about my well-being. They didn’t laugh; they gasped, “Are you OK?” Oh yeah, I’m fine. “No, really, ARE YOU OK?” Must’ve been all that time I spent in football practice, fellas, because, really, I’m good.
I looked down to inspect my clothing, fully expecting my silk shirt to be ripped, probably somewhere exceedingly inopportune. Surprisingly, the shirt was intact. We can, however, add one pair of Ann Taylor glen plaid suit pants to my donation total today, along with a knee, the palm of my right hand and that last remaining shred of dignity that I just discarded there on the sidewalk. I hope everyone appreciates my sacrifice.
Posted by Daily Tragedies @ 10:58 pm | Make a Comment
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PLEASE tell me you were wearing the helmut? Seriously, sorry to hear about the touchdown move. I’ve been there myself, usually in a crowd, or worse, a visiting group of Japanese businessmen out for a business lunch (they just loved the way my shoe fell all the way down 2 fights of stairs and I had to come running down to fetch it)! Maybe it’s time to get the running shoes out early. Have a great Thanksgiving.
November 21st, 2007 at 2:36 pmOuch! At least you didn’t half-ass fall; you did it right. Hey, go big or go home. Hopefully you had a big yummy steak burrito to soothe your pride… mmm…Chipotle.
November 22nd, 2007 at 4:23 amGlad to hear your silk shirt survived, even if your pride did not. Just avoid Chipotle for a while and you should be fine.
It’s funny (in a odd way, not an amusing way) that I too forgot how to walk last night leaving the gym. I finished teaching my kickboxing class, locked everything up, and as I walked through the fitness center (very busy this time of night) I stumbled in front of the main entrance. I immediately blushed a deep, deep red but kept moving without looking back. Thank God I didn’t fall down otherwise I think I’d have to quit my job.
November 28th, 2007 at 5:26 am[...] « I Really Wish I Wrote Fiction [...]
November 28th, 2007 at 6:36 amThat sooo reminds me of the movie Clueless when Ty falls down the stairs and she’s like oh sh*t, all night everyone is going to think of me as the girl who fell on her butt. And Cher is all, “it wasn’t that bad, everyone has already forgotten about it” and some random guy walks up and is like, “are you okay? that looked really bad?!”
Sorry (for us) to hear that you’re moving. But good for you!
December 13th, 2007 at 7:25 am[...] instead. I know I’m woefully behind here on the fascinating life updates, but I haven’t done a faceplant in front of strangers recently, so it’s been challenging to make the time to sit down and write. If it’s any [...]
October 22nd, 2008 at 9:53 pm