October 14, 2007 | Filed under: It's Called "Having a Life." You Should Try It.
I leave for Prague in about a week and am in the thick of trip preparations. I’ve scheduled my bills to pay themselves, called my credit card companies to let them know I’ll be wanting to use my card abroad and yes, it really is me, please don’t put a fraud alert on the card and decline all my attempted purchases. (And, oh yes, there will be purchases.)
I even went so far as to register my trip with the State Department. It makes me feel a little nauseous, quite frankly, to voluntarily give this kind of personal information to the United States government, but I guess I’d prefer that they know where I am and that I need to be evacuated, if the situation arises. But still. It’s very Big Brother and it skeeves me out. The State Department, for their part, reminds travelers that the United States does not negotiate with terrorists, so I’d better start practicing my torture-withstanding techniques. I think I’ll suggest we watch Nancy Grace — that should get me out in no time.
I authorized the State Department to disclose my information to family members and Members of Congress. I mean, really, who better to ensure my safe return from a distant land than people who haven’t managed to pass spending bills for the fiscal year that began October 1?
One of the most important items I needed to procure for my trip is a pair of shoes. Shoes for walking all over creation, on ancient cobblestone streets. Somehow, I don’t think my daily diet of 3″ pointy-toed heels is going to make it. I ordered five pairs of shoes in three brands from two different online retailers. I hated four pairs and gave one an “eh, maybe.” I spent most of a day looking for shoes at an actual store here, where I could — imagine that! — try them on before buying.
I came up with these:
Cute, huh? I’m a little embarrassed to tell you that they’re from Jessica Simpson. I would never have guessed that we’d have similar tastes in shoes, but apparently we do!
I also scored these:
Right now an ex-boyfriend’s head is exploding at the sight of those rounded toes. I’ll have you know I wore these with a skirt and tights this week. Opaque black tights. And it looked good.
But neither of these are very practical for wandering around Europe, so eventually I succumbed and bought these:
The Official Walk Around Europe Shoes. For once, I’m putting function over fashion. I know it’s for the best, but if you tell me they’re ugly I still might cry. The nice man at Nordstrom explained that I could even wear them with a skirt — something at least calf-length, but probably ankle-length would be better. Um, yeah. I own … nothing like that whatsoever. I think I’ll be sticking to pants, thanks.
Then Target took what remained of my money, with its extensive collection of wee little things just perfect for international travelers attempting to take only one piece of luggage:
Wee little first aid kit. Because I’m sure to do something stupid over the course of two weeks.
Wee little shaving cream and hand lotion.
Wee little laundry detergent and spray bottle for Febreeze. (Thanks for the tip, Lori!) These supplies will come in handy, as I’m trying to take only four outfits. No, I’m serious: less is more. More room for souvenirs, that is!
For the plane: not so wee bag of M&Ms. And animal crackers. Because apparently I think I’m a seven-year old who will be entertained for at least 20 minutes by snacks in various animal shapes. Let’s face it, I probably will be. Which leaves me … only 17 1/2 more hours to fill.
And finally, the essentials:
Note the journal on the top of the pile — I will make a valiant attempt to actually write something in it. Otherwise I’m just going to be stuck carrying it around for no good reason and will have to rely on my memory for stories to tell you. And no, I will not be showing you the picture inside my passport, taken shortly after I graduated from college, thankyouverymuch. I’m just happy I’m finally putting it to good use.
Now all I have to do is figure out what clothes to take and how much room to dedicate in the suitcase for very important purchases like a complete set of Czech crystal. And an awesome pair of boots. And maybe a keg of beer. OK, a keg might be overkill. A pony keg, then. Do you think I’m allowed to travel with that much liquid?
Posted by Daily Tragedies @ 8:49 am | Make a Comment
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have a fantastic trip! everyone I know that has been to Prague has LOVED it! Oh, and I love those animal crackers, they are so much better then the normal ones. Yum.
October 14th, 2007 at 2:49 pmEnjoy your trip. Photography your stuffed suitcase before you go (cause I have to see if it matches what I have envisioned in my head)! OK, nevermind. Maybe not a good idea. Have a good time, and I agree on the Nancy Grace torture treatment. God forbid it’s torture when I’m visiting my parents and they flip it on occasionally (they really know how to clear a room).
October 14th, 2007 at 8:49 pmOh wow! Have fantastic time! I hope to go to Prague one day — it is to today’s Europe what Paris was in the 1920s.
Love the shoes, yes, even the comfy ones. I prefer the rounded toes to the sharp ones, and the Official Walk Around Europe shoes are cute! What brand are they? I need a pair of those!
One tiny offering of assvice, and you can ignore me or smack me, as you wish….but if you can find a comfortable calf-length or longer skirt (crinkled broomstick skirt tied into a space-saving knot, something in a travel knit, whatever), you will get considerably more respect while travelling in Eastern Europe. It’s the equivalent of a man travelling in a blazer…people treat you with like someone WORTHY of the best slice of cake and the invitation to the First Class compartment. The same thing holds true in most of Asia.
It’s also…ummm…easier….to gather up a skirt around one’s waist in order to use a squatty potty (a crude hole in the ground or modern, porcelain-lined ceramic trough — basically the same thing) than to try and balance in pants and not…umm…dampen them.
October 14th, 2007 at 9:19 pmIf you need to leave anything behind, I’d vote for the Tide. We just bought the little packets they sell at the laundromats.
I can’t believe you didn’t want the State Department to alert the media of any international incidents involving you. They could plaster your passport photo all over the news.
October 14th, 2007 at 10:19 pmOK, I am a bit behind on my blog reading (and writing!!)…I echo your squee. How amazing.
And yes, we definitely need to hang out. I’ll email you tomorrow
October 15th, 2007 at 11:08 pm